What Is Gendered Communication?
Gendered communication refers to the differences in conversation styles traditionally used by men and women. Men may be more likely to communicate or interpret consent for sex using nonverbal cues. These nonverbal cues can include nodding, assuming a certain body position, or interpreting a facial expression. In contrast, research has shown that women are more likely to use verbal cues to communicate consent or refusal. These verbal cues are statements like “yes” or “no.” While these gender differences exist, it’s important to know they’re not universal. Some women may communicate in an indirect style, and some men may communicate more directly.
What Is the Definition of Sexual Consent?
Sexual consent means that both parties enthusiastically agree to engage in a specific sexual activity. This should happen without any pressure or force. What you consent to one day (like oral sex) can be different from what you agree to another day. Consent must happen every time, and it can be taken back at any time, even if you’ve engaged in sexual activities with the person before.
Consent looks and sounds like an excited: “Yes! Let’s do that!” from both people before a sexual act. Consent does not sound like “maybe,” or “I’m not sure,” or “let’s just see.” Silence is also not consent.
Talking With Your Partner and Healthcare Provider
Communicating clearly is important for your sexual health and that of your partner. When people clearly speak about their needs and desires, it helps them understand each other’s boundaries. This can help keep people safe and avoid potential miscommunications and situations that may lead to sexual assault or violence.
It’s also important to speak openly with your healthcare provider about your sexual experiences and concerns and ask questions. Your healthcare provider can provide you with resources about how to talk with your partner about your needs and desires and manage certain situations. They can also provide support for situations that may have already happened.
Learning More About Consent and Gender Differences
The New Jersey Family Planning League is dedicated to providing access to sex education and sexual and reproductive health services for all people regardless of their gender identity, sexual orientation, income, or insurance status.. Visit NJFPL to find a health center near you today.
A Note About Domestic and Sexual Violence
Consent must happen in every sexual encounter. If you are experiencing any form of abuse and/or violence, please know that you are not alone, and that help is available. The New Jersey Domestic Violence Hotline is accessible 24/7 at 1 (800) 572-SAFE (7233). They offer lifesaving tools and immediate support to empower victims and survivors to find safety and live free of abuse. Your safety comes first, so all calls are totally confidential. You can also call New Jersey’s 24-hour Statewide Hotline at 1-800-601-7200. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, call 9-1-1. The New Jersey Coalition to End Domestic Violence has a long list of other resources as well. NJ Coalition Against Sexual Assault (NJCASA) has additional resources, including a listing of county-based programs where you can find help.